on magic...

and science. and the force.

I’ve always wanted to believe magic was real. As a kid I fully tried to use the force like I was Luke Skywalker. I would put my hand out in front of me and concentrate on whatever was across the room from me, willing it to move.

It never did. But as you can see, I was primed to want to believe in something bigger than myself.

God? No thanks. Grew up in church and you can only be told NOT TO HAVE SEX so many times before you wonder why these people are so obsessed with what fifteen year olds do when they’re alone.

But magic? Hell yeah, count me in.

I mean, not fully for a long time because, as someone who was raised religious, when I broke out of that shit, I wanted nothing to do with any of it. I was practical— an atheist. I was better than people who had to run around believing in something to get through the day.

Nineteen year olds are exhausting. If you still drink your black coffee with a cigarette and shit on women for being into astrology, I feel sorry for you. It’s not a fun way to live.

I’ve had enough things happen to me that I couldn’t rationally explain away that I realized in my twenties I might have to hang up my jadedness for a bit. I sometimes knew things I couldn’t have possibly known or in a few really freaky moments, I had dreams (more like nightmares) that I would wake up from, in a panic and not be able to go back to sleep. And then, the exact thing I dreamt happened.

Roll your eyes if you need to but— it wasn’t fun. In fact it was pretty terrifying. And something that apparently happens to my mom sometimes and happened to my abuela too. My family in Mexico said women in the family have “the sight”.

Oh boy. I personally, don’t want the sight. But still, I can’t really fight that there was something going on in these moments. Thankfully it hasn’t happened to me in a long time.

The point of my rambling is, I think a lot of spirituality is just the flip side of science. Just because we don’t have the words to explain it yet doesn’t mean it’s not based in something logical. I mean, if we went back in time and showed a Victorian person an IPhone, they would think it was magic, call us Satanists, and then faint from Syphilis.

So, whether it’s some kind of quantum science we don’t understand yet or it’s magic, I’d rather live in a world where we can’t explain everything. That world just seems more fun.

And let me tell you from experience, it’s a lot more fun than having a pastor with sideburns tell you it’s a sin to be gay. Or to sit in a coffee shop thinking you’re better than other people because you know love is a chemical reaction.

So, use the force, young one.

Believe in something, because at the end of the day, who the hell cares if it helps you get through the day and doesn’t hurt anyone else. The worst thing that can happen is you trust yourself a little bit more.